Nicknames

Ya ever wonder about people with nicknames? How cool would it be to have people call you something and the whole world knew they were talking about you? If I say the Duke, who doesn't know I'm talking about Marion Morrison, opps, I mean John Wayne. When someone refers to Babe everyone automatically thinks of George Hermann Ruth, everyone except that weird cousin who you don't talk about. He thinks you're talking of the kids movie with that talking pig!

I need a cool nickname! Something that strikes fear in the hearts of men, but makes women weak in the knees. Hows about Butch? No, too butch. Babe would get me beat up and did people call John Wayne Duke, or the Duke? I don't want those names, I want one that's all mine.

I was going to ask my friends, but what's the point? They have names like Mike, John, Rick, and Bob. I mean Bob for God's sake! What could they possibly know about nicknames? To them a nickname is calling somebody named Charles Chuck! No help there.

Times like these I miss my grandfather. Chally had some friends! Harry the Horse, Fartin Martin, Shitty Smitty, and Tony the midget! That was a time when nicknames meant something. I mean Tony was a real midget! Harry the horse called me VD when I was a kid. My uncles called me Big Dummy, but Harry thought BD was too plain and I wasn't looking forward to people calling me VD for eternity!

We had a County Executive that was called Dutch. Even the Vice President had a friend named Scooter! Wasn't he on the Muppet's? If you have a name like Dweezil do you have a nickname like Doug? I suppose with some of the names I've been called over the years I should be happy to follow in the footsteps of FDR and be happy to just be awb.