The secret word for today is exacerbation, a big time one! Everything that is effected, or is affected, should have gone to class more, is on high alert. No sense calling the neuro, nothing for them to do since I've entered the "we'll make you comfortable" stage. Sitting in the recliner waiting to see what this current body coup takes from me, horrible feeling, knowing that when it's over you won't be the same. I'd have to say the toughest part of this saga has been watching my body die in little bites?
This has been a fear of mine since I was a small child, being a person not in control, one that just sits and shakes. Don't know where it comes from, don't remember knowing anyone like that growing up? I had all the normal fears too, vampires, the volcano in our back yard, the knowledge of my families lack of a defibrillator, but this one was right up at the top. I watched my 14 year old uncle die from cancer two doors up when I was 6, but I'm sure that's not got nothing to do with it? I thought you only had to be careful for what you wished for?