Too Fat For Ecopods

Was just reading about recycled paper coffins called ecopods, pretty cool concept. I want something like that when the time comes, no embalming, just put me in the ground at church. No viewings, don't want people talking about how good I look, stick a walnut up my ass and plant me. Well it's all planned, nothing to it, until I noticed I'm too big for the pods! If that isn't the ultimate slap, I'm too fat to die!