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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Washer Toss Championship

I guess it may have to do with the Olympics, but I'm pretty sure I could qualify for the U.S. washer toss team. I played it today for the first time and I was awesome! I played against people that I'm pretty sure have played professionally, or at least have hustled for money? It was a cut throat match lineup, but my partner and I destroyed all comers. My partner was an anchor around my neck, but like I said, I was awesome!

We beat all the teams at the Westminster washer toss complex on a gorgeous day. I was able to perfect my left hand saucer toss. Most people have to throw an end over end washer, it's not too pretty, but it's adequate. I used to throw right handed, but that hand, along with my right leg, aren't worth a whole lot anymore. Luckily I'm amphibious, you know, I can use either hand, so I made the adjustment like a pro! It was scads of fun, at least for us winners, and an important historical event for everyone, even the losers!

Michael Phelps called me to say congratulations on my toss efforts, we are both Baltimore boys. I told Michael he had a good day too, beating the loud mouth frogs who only came to the games to beat the Americans. How's that plan working for you now Frenchies? Did the French see how high the gold medal signs were? Well our boys sure did! Way to go fellas, USA, USA, USA!

The WATG competition BBQ team faired pretty good. They scored a 5th place for pork, 15th ribs, and 19th brisket. They had a tough time with the chicken placing 40th out of I think 50 teams. I think there was a bone to pick with WATG from the judges, The food looked great, smelled great, was presented great. It was just great! Better luck next time guys, if you need any tips, feel free to ask me, my butt rub is known around venues nation wide as making a difference on butts, thighs, or even breasts. Just let me know, If I picked up the washer toss that fast, chicken thighs should only take me a few minutes! Viva Americanos!


Slammermike said...

I was watching the Olympics early this morning around 2:30 and I think they ran a story on this new Washer Toss sport. They said it is an up and coming sort and may be an exhibition event in the next Olympics with the goal being a medal sport in the Olympics after that.

It was reported that they are forming a governing body to set strict guidelines over this rapidly growing sport. They want to protect against any performance enhancing substances entering this sport and tainting it's integrity.

The report further stated that the Westminister Washerplex is the Camden Yards of the Washer Toss world. There have been an undercurrent of rumblings that there may have been some point shaving at the games yesterday.

Let's hope this is not true and this sport remains in it's pure form.

awb said...

It was those PA couple, wasn't it? Is there no shame?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you are so good because you have a screw loose.

awb said...

Maybe I'm proud, or maybe I have a screw loose? That's a tough choice!

Anonymous said...

All I know is - that PA guy is going to make me one of those games and I'm going to practice soooooo much that I will be unstoppable. I will be able to beat all you guys with one hand tied behind my back. Yeah!! Women rule!! Fortunately you don't know who this is!! OK - it's a woman but that's all you know. OK - and I was at the party. OK - and I played the game. OK - but you still don't know who this is!!! Right?!

awb said...

Hm, an interloper eh? Let me get my Sherlock hat!