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Monday, July 7, 2008

Take My Recyclables, Please!

Here in Baltimore County we are lucky when it comes to our trash. We put it out to the curb and they, the trash guys, come and take it away. They even make us feel better about ourselves by coming and taking our recyclables away, no fuss. We have one regular trash pick up a week. We also have one recycle pick up, alternating between plastic and paper. On the plastic pick up, which is also for glass and metal, they pick up our yard waste too. It's like having a trash guy on your payroll!

I just had a killer idea! I'm going to get a bike, one of those 3 wheel tricycle types like they have in Asian countries, with a hugenanomous basket. I'm going to pedal around Baltimore on recycle nights and pick up peoples recyclables! I'm a genius! I may even hire my friends, a lot of them aren't doing anything at night, You know, give them all their own route. I of course will get a small fee for coordinating the whole gig.

Man, what a sweet idea. This one is a sure thing, can't miss, no brainer. I read this one thing that said it was against the law to do that with peoples trash. I laughed like a fool! I mean it was a joke, right? Rat Farts! It not only isn't a joke, but in some places you can go to jail for it! Go to jail for stealing trash? Wow, have we come a long way or what? They even have a name for these scoundrels. They call them "waste poachers"! That's pretty cool!

Some places are taking this very seriously. You not only may receive a fine or jail time, but they may confiscate your vehicle. Do they mean my tricycle? Other places are requiring recycle companies to require picture ID's for people who recycle more then $50 worth of cans. There is yet another place that has installed video cameras to secretly patrol areas of "heavy poaching"! Who'd of thunk it?

I'm relatively sure that Baltimore County doesn't have any of these screwy laws, but I had better organize my trash drones quickly before someone puts the kibosh on a great business opportunity. I mean some of these guys are making $1000 a night "stealing" things other people have thrown away. It's just typical of my luck though. I have an epiphany within the realm of a green, earth friendly, sure fire business, but like so many of my ideas, it turns out to be trash after all!


Slammermike said...

Isn't it odd that you can be charged for taking trash left out on the street but then if you throw trash out on the street and be charged with littering?

awb said...

You sound like Benny Hill! That's the reason people don't eat at the beach. The sand which is there, get into your sandwiches there. I'm still debating weather or not to become can king!

awb said...

I was expecting more people to comment on this one. Yeah, it seems like people are always talking trash!

karylc said...

Don't settle for aluminum when you could go steal copper out of houses and get much more for your efforts. Don't worry what it costs the stupid property owner to replace and repair the damage, they're probably way too rich anyway.

awb said...

I'll take anything if it fits in the basket of my trike! I have to get one still, streamers on the handlebars, I would be so cool!