MS Stole My Being a Viable Human

     I used to think I didn’t like people, usually preferred to be alone. I think that’s true for the most part, unless I can pick the people? I never had much patience for what I thought were stupid or petty people. I have even less patience now, but I hunger for the company of humans. The isolation of this disease is crushing! I go weeks, sometimes months without seeing any humans other than my immediate family, they are great, but it’s like being in solitary confinement and only seeing the same 3 guards when they bring you food. I’m not talking about people dropping by for a visit, I’m talking about the feeling of being out amongst the humans. I’m talking about shooting the breeze in a bar, hanging out at an FOP meeting, painting cabins at a youth camp, the things I did when I was a viable human being. Being impromptu and spontaneous are things of the past. I’ve been home now for over 22 years just waiting for the inevitable, gets pretty boring. I am not angling for visitors, that’s not my point, besides, I probably wouldn’t answer the door if you came by. I miss looking forward to things as opposed to sitting around waiting.

shut In Rules, Breathing Issues Being Checked

These people think I am kidding about the shut in thing,  haven't been home since I posted that!   Out to dinner last night and tonight, the wife probably has me doing a 5 mile run tomorrow?  It's great getting out, but I'm exhausted.  Ok, need to modify my shut in parameters.  Maybe I need to limit the revelry to one night a week, not be quite the party animal?  Have to ease into this I suppose?

Have to have a sleep study and a pulmonary test to see what's causing the breathing problems?  Hard to describe really, it's not that I can't breathe, I just have this sudden gasp for air.  Don't feel it coming, don't feel it after, doesn't really bother me, but it's happening 40-50 times a day, so it's something that needs to be checked.  I'm burning up my new Medicare card!