MS Stole My Being a Viable Human

     I used to think I didn’t like people, usually preferred to be alone. I think that’s true for the most part, unless I can pick the people? I never had much patience for what I thought were stupid or petty people. I have even less patience now, but I hunger for the company of humans. The isolation of this disease is crushing! I go weeks, sometimes months without seeing any humans other than my immediate family, they are great, but it’s like being in solitary confinement and only seeing the same 3 guards when they bring you food. I’m not talking about people dropping by for a visit, I’m talking about the feeling of being out amongst the humans. I’m talking about shooting the breeze in a bar, hanging out at an FOP meeting, painting cabins at a youth camp, the things I did when I was a viable human being. Being impromptu and spontaneous are things of the past. I’ve been home now for over 22 years just waiting for the inevitable, gets pretty boring. I am not angling for visitors, that’s not my point, besides, I probably wouldn’t answer the door if you came by. I miss looking forward to things as opposed to sitting around waiting.