Baseball Catchers Have Gotten Lazy

I'm sitting here watching the baseball game, go O's! I've seen this a bunch lately, have you? Twice tonight the pitcher bounced the ball, and the catcher blocked the ball, nice play. Once it trickled off to the left about 5 feet, and the other one went about 4 feet to the right. Both times Hernandez stayed down on his haunches and held his hand up for a new ball. Does he think his butler is coming to get the ball? When did the catchers start not bothering to get the balls that they don't catch? Can you imagine Elrod just letting the ball sit there? Who do they think is going to come get the ball? Is the batter supposed to go get it? It looks like it has become the umpires job to chase the balls the catcher's don't want to get. I guess it's beneath a millionaire to play fetch?

Don't Worry, It's Just The MS

I hate going to new doctors. I'm not terribly thrilled to go to the old ones. You develop a certain relationship with your regular doctor that you don't have with strangers, if you're lucky. Being in Baltimore, I am close to both Hopkins and U of Maryland hospitals, and have been patients at both. I also have been seen at Mercy, Franklin Square, Good Sam, St. Joe's, and GBMC. It's not too bad when you go to a neuro that specializes in MS. You expect to give the whole history. I hate it when you go to one who isn't a MS specialist and as you explain your symptoms, they say, "NO WAY!" Not very encouraging.

God forbid you have to go the emergency room for anything. I no longer tell them I have MS, not right off anyways. The reason for that is I have had doctors right in the middle of the exam say, "oh, you have MS? That's probably what's wrong," end of exam. Whaaaa? They have to be kidding! How about when a doctor tells you, when you are there concerned about something that he isn't worried about it. I guess you're not you dumb S.O.B., you aren't the one going through it!

All of this brings me to this mornings rant. Just as I dislike it when a doctor declassifies my concerns because they find out I have MS, similarly I have to make sure I don't do it myself. It would be foolish to ignore things because it's probably the MS. Having been diagnosed over 20 years ago, I have developed my own form of hypochondria. I have a simple ache or pain, it's that damn MS again! I broke a tooth the other day that I'm waiting to have a crown put on. MS! Bad hair day? MS! It is something we laugh about all the time. My wife or kids ask me to do something, or I do something stupid, yes me, I have a stock answer. Actually I have a couple. Either it's that I can't do it because I have a condition, or because I'm in the witness relocation program.

Funny story, at least I think so. When our daughter was elementary school, she is a junior in college now, looking at a January term, or Jan-term, in Israel, Jordan, Poland, Prague, and someplace else not here! Anyway in elementary school they bring all those forms home to sign. I hate filling out forms. I told her to wait for her mother to come home, I wasn't allowed to do it because I was in the witness relocation program. She told me what a goof I was and waited for her mother. The next day the teacher asked if anyone had a problem getting the paperwork done. My little sweetie raised her hand and said her father wasn't allowed to do it because he is in the program. It's great when your kids have your sense of humor. That teacher always gave me a wide berth after that?

My latest thing is I woke up this morning with a pain in the side of my neck.(My wife wakes up with a pain in the neck every morning! Baroompa!) Obviously it's a blood clot caused by the MS. I still have the port in my chest from the chemotherapy. it must be leaking, or ready to explode. Will the surgeon be able to get it out today? Is this the price I pay for having not called her to take it out already? Why does this kind of thing always happen to me? That's when it happened! Dust from the construction process caused me to sneeze and boy did that hurt! I started sneezing last night, hey wait a minute! What did I say to myself lat night? I said self, remember that sneeze tomorrow when something hurts, because that was a doozy! Tragedy averted! Call off the paramedics! I told you I was OK. Sometimes you just have to sit and think these things through. All this typing makes my finger hurt, I wonder.....

Bathroom Update

The bathroom is coming along, slow but sure. A couple of trim pieces, and then the drywall goes back on, or should I say low moisture, no mold green board? Drilled the holes for the water turny on thingies, the scariest part. In a couple of days I will be painting, then it's turbo toilet time!
No more stepping into the tub for me! The seat will come in handy. I shall return.

Congress Bails Out Greedy Home Buyers

Let me tell you how dumb my wife and I are. When we bought our home, the bank told us how much we were qualified for. We both looked at the number and said no way! There is no way we can afford that much. We looked at it logically and decided on an amount we were both comfortable with. What kind of fools are we? If we had bought an outrageously expensive home, it turns out our Uncle Sam would have come to the rescue.

The current Congress has OK'd a bail out of the people who bought more home than hey could afford. Stay with me, because I must not too smart when it comes to number figurin. 400,000 people are said to benefit from this money. Near as I can figure, if you divide 400,000 into 300,000,000,000 you get $750,000 per loan. Someone with more edumacation check that one and see if I did that right? If I'm wrong, sorry for taking up your time on a dead end road. If I'm right, HOLY CRAP!

Does that mean that the feds are going to broker new mortgages for these people, at a better rate, at a lower cost, so they can afford something, they shouldn't have bought in the first place? Well kiss my grits! I see the Democrats were true to their word and got rid of the frivolous spending! What was it they said they were going to do? I see no difference. The Dems and the GOP both posture too much, and get too little done. Both sides keep talking about what they are doing for the middle class. I am pretty sure I am still in the middle class, unless I have slipped down a notch. All I see is both sides making it harder for me to put food on the table, to put fuel in my mule, buy gas for my ass! We are supposed to pick a new President from one of these teams? Good luck!

How do I get in on some of this cash? How is it going to work? What company is going to get rich off of this 300 billion? How many service charges and handling fees are there going to be? Is the money going to be paid back by the same jerks that couldn't afford it the first time? I'm no economist, but that seems pretty dumb to me. Is Congress going after the fly by nights who found these loans for people? How about the banks that gave it to them? When will I get my 300 billion back, and from whom? Why do I feel like this is going to be another Katrina disaster. You know what I mean, here's money, is it fixed now?

I can't tell you how many "new" houses are for sale in Perry Hall. Well, I can tell you, but that's not the point. The point is it's every where. Until we go after the people that caused this, I am still not able to afford food, gas, electricity, and gas to cook and heat my hot water with. How do I make them pay for what they have done? They are living in multi million dollar homes, paid for on the back of these defaulted loans. Is there no penalty for that? Isn't that the financial equivalency of reckless endangerment? Please don't tell me they will make more money from the 300 bil! It's time for some new ideas, some new plans, a way of putting the lid down on this downward flow. Maybe we can get Jesse "The Body" to run for President? He can't be any worse then the 2 choices, or the 2 teams being offered!

Tragedy Strikes Idiot Proof Garden

Don't tell me something is idiot proof before I've gotten the opportunity to prove it otherwise! Yeah, I can idiot up things with the best of them. So my storage tub garden grew. And it grew. And man did it grow! I had no idea when I pirated this information off line both from another pirate, and from the official manufacturers web page, that these damn things would work so well! They are huge! There in lies the problem.

Bigger things usually do weigh more. Trucks weigh more than cars, elephants more than mice. Even people follow this rule. I'm 6'5" and weigh about 300 pounds. My father is a little wisp of a man, 5'7 and 3/4" weighing in at a whopping 160.(He weighed 118 when I was born) So why did these plants get so big? I think it must be that I grew them perfectly! What else could it be? Sure, maybe they all get that big, but mine are bigger! Bigger means heavier Jug. Oh yeah, any idiot knows that, or at least most of them.

My July 3rd post showed how much they had grown from the June 3rd sowing, well not sowing since I didn't plant seeds, but just work with me. Between July 3rd and yesterday, the tomatoes were close to 7 feet tall and the green peppers were almost 6. Yep, farm livin is the life for me! I go out each day and water, make sure they are staked up and supported, and stand for a few minutes with my hands on my hips saying, "Yep!"

I was laying in bed last night, of course I was laying, come on, I am house broken! Anyway, I'm laying there listening to one hell of a storm! The light show that went along with it was quite impressive too. As I lay there I could have sworn I heard a loud sigh from beneath my window? I hoped my babies are OK? You raise them and you hope they are ready for the real world. The weight. Had I calculated the weight? I will have to make adjustments for the size and weight of all the fruit on the vine. I was going to run out and check, but the wife reminded me of the weather and the fact that it would like a scene from the "Shawshank Redemption" if I went out now.

I spent many a restless night in the stir, OK, enough of the movie references. Let's just say I would have been up all night if it weren't for the dose of Ambien I took to in hopes of the constantly cycling cramps in my legs fading away into a drug induced slumber. Back to my babies! So I get up this morning, a bonus right there, but I need to go check my fruit. Are tomatoes fruits or veggies? Aren't they fruit so the government can tax them? Try taxing these! Back to my babies!

As I turned the corner past the saw grass, past the claw foot bath tub, my worst fears, any parents were realized. My plants had gotten so big they had actually collapsed under their own weight. My 7 foot tomatoes were now 3 foot. My 6 foot peppers were down to 4 foot, and had actually lost a branch. As you can see, I lost some very young green peppers. How could I have not calculated in the weight? So much for idiot proof! I still have tons of tomatoes and peppers, but I will lose a bunch due to lack of sun. Next year I'm going to buy a welder and make a steal arbor or trellis. I give this method an A+! It is a great way to grow if you have limited space, ability, or mobility.

Dreams Crushed By Cooking Contest

Now I know how the pilots not selected for the space program must feel. My dreams of winning the Damon's recipe contest have been thwarted by barley soup and chicken salad! My years of preparation and testing have all been for naught. I could go back to the drawing board and prepare for next year? I could also sell my kitchen appliances accept that some things are not meant to be!

I went into this culinary competition with a plan, a strategy, a secret weapon if you will. The best recipe wasn't going to be the one that won, and obviously it didn't. The winner of this gastronomic battle would be the one that could be reproduced cheaply. Oh yeah, they weren't going to go for a Maryland crab dish, or shrimp kabobs. Chicken salad! How mundane! I can make chicken salad out of anything! Cheap was king. Since they were going to serve the winning recipes for free to the patrons of the Perry Hall festival, cheap and easy was the winning strategy. Barley soup!

I had a chicken dish too, but no, they didn't want flavorful. My pounded chicken is world renowned! All right, my kids love it, but kids have to eat too. It's so juicy you could give it away and sell napkins. Now that's juicy! I didn't see zucchini fritters on the list of winning celebrity chef offerings. I can get my kids to eat zucchini for Lord's sake! Does Damon's know what they missed? Do they care that I sit and ponder what may have been? They don't care! They're a heartless corporation, not in the business of dream realization!

Do you think the battle could have been lost before it began? I'm not saying I wasn't prepared, I'm saying I was robbed! I bet the winners were employees of Rachel Ray! I'm glad I didn't win! If they had picked me I would have declined the nomination! Yeah, I would have said no, find someone else to heap the adulation and trimmings of victory upon! Yeah, you can take that to the bank and smoke it! All in all I have nothing to be ashamed of. I gave it my best shot and was royally screwed out of the victory! If they think I'm doing it again next year, they are dead on right. I shall be avenged and my triumph will be told for centuries to recipe contest hopefuls with a dream.

p.s. Send me what you think would be a winning recipe. Maybe I'll steal it for next year?

Handicapped Hanging Tags And Driving

I don't know about other parts of the world, but here in my part, Baltimore, you can get a handicapped tag if you're wind burned! That must be the case, because I think everyone has one. If you are over 55 you can get one by asking your family doctor. Do you ever watch people jockey for position with the handicapped spaces. It's like a badge of honor to park in one. I've seen people wait for one to open up when there are un-handicapped spots all over the place!

I have had one for a while. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis over 20 years ago, and have had problems for at least 25. I wanted to get the one that hangs on the rear view mirror for a few reasons. First, it transfers to any car you are driving in. Second, you don't drive down the road with everyone saying, "look, he's handicapped!" My pals like me to drive with them, as long as I have my tag! Some things that drive me crazy, and yes there are a few, don't drive with it hanging on the mirror! It says so right on the tag. That's great to see someone all over the road as they try to look around the tag and their dog!

There is nothing better then coming across a vocal senior citizen who decides you don't have a right to be handicapped. Why do you have a tag, or there is nothing wrong with you, and those spots are for the elderly are among my favs. Ah old people, ya gotta love em! Actually, I don't have to love old people. I have always prided myself in being a respectful person, in particular with people older than myself. I do however draw a line in the sand. Don't push me, and don't impose your views on me without exception. I'm sure people see a 6'5" man with his hair in a ponytail and 300 pounds and don't automatically think, that's too bad, he's too young for that. I'm a good looking guy too, just ask my mother!

There needs to be a little tighter hold on these types of tags. I think if you have one, you should have to pass a mini driving test every year. Watch the people who have them for easy parking turn them back in! I've seen people trying to get out of their cars that should not be driving that 2 ton weapon around my kids. We have a guy that is so fat, I have seen him fall asleep half way into the store because he is exhausted from getting out of his truck, which may, or may not be parked out of the road. I know there is a time when driving will not be my thing, I just wish others did as well. Just leave me alone when I try to enjoy the driving time I have left!

Why Aren't Uniforms Uniform for Pro Athletes?

My son gets a kick out of watching ESPN Classic when they show basketball games from the late 1970's. He makes fun of all the guys in their short shorts. He told me not too long ago that they looked like dweebs, and they all looked the same! They all looked the same? Wait a minute, I happen to like the shorts the fall mid thigh, not mid calf, and I have pictures to prove it! But they all looked the same, like uniform in appearance. Isn't that the idea? Must not be anymore.

I was watching the Oriole game last night, great comeback! I noticed some players had baseball pants on with baseball socks, the stirrup ones over white tube socks. Others had straight leg, almost Capri pants, all the way down to the top of the shoes. Still a few had Bonds type trousers that almost cover their shoes! We had short sleeves, long sleeves, and you guessed it, sleeves that came to the middle of the forearm. They all wear different shoes, and they must all have jewelry contracts! What's up with the dirty helmets? Is it bad luck to have a clean helmet? I sure hope dirty shirts aren't good luck! Did anyone else want to go down to the Yard and snatch Rodney's hat off of his head and put it on straight? My wife had to hide my keys!

Basketball does it too. We have high socks, short socks, no socks. We have white socks, stripped socks, colored socks. What's up with the arm socks? Is that a brace, or something to cover up inappropriate tattoos? Bill Russell didn't need to cover anything up. You have guys wearing T-shirts, tank tops and body armor under their jerseys. (Or is it called under armor, I don't remember!) Shoes are what they design for Nike, and we have head band de jour!

Football has all the same issues. Blame it on "White shoes" Johnson. What are those rubber bands they wear around their biceps? I don't remember Butkis wearing them? I get so tired of seeing the players take their mouth piece out after every play and stick it in their face mask. Saw the one QB have to burn a timeout because he dropped his in the mud. That was a riot! Towels, leg pads, all of it optional. If I were an owner I'd insist they wore all the pads for what the investment is in them. Thin wrist bands, thick wrist bands, more of those damn rubber bands!

Do you remember how ominous it was when the Chicago bears came onto the field in their black uniforms, meaning black shoes too. Patrick Ewing changed the dress code for basketball with his T-shirt. Celtics used to look pretty good in their short shorts, and all the same color shoes. Call me old fashioned for thinking a uniform should be uniform, I'm funny that way. I wish a lot of things today could be more uniform. I think when they were the US was a happier place, it sure was safer. As for Fernando Rodney, I'm going to hot wire the car today if that damn hat isn't uniform over the doo rag!